…for remodeling…
September 18, 2015
As Anne Frank began doing in her 2nd year of hiding — I need to go through my 7+ years of essays (335 of them) and annotate and edit them (as an older [and hopefully wiser] reader). It was actually Anne, with her pristine clarity and exquisite insights of her projected psyche that inspired me to begin \”The Doctor\’s Inn\” almost-8-years-ago.
And I\’ve written plenty of stuff over the past 7+ years…I even think I suffered from the-seven-year-itch awhile ago — when I wanted to write nothing but poetry (that didn\’t last long — but I think I\’ll give it another try). I never could sink into my subject matter like Anne did, however –nor could I capture Garrison Keillor\’s woebegone tone or PJ O\’Rourke\’s laser, poison-pen.
If I developed a writing voice at all while The Inn was open it is probably: Shit! I could be wrong again!! This authentic tone seems to have entertained a few, and, not pissed off too many.
But now it\’s time to examine the conscious, unconscious and subconscious turds I have been dropping in The Inn for-almost-8-years-now. A former companion, indeed, quite a few folks out there, examined her shit everyday to judge her relative health by the constituency of the shit. I believe it\’s high time to reflect on my relative health by examining my shits deposited along the path.
I began writing in late 2007 because I felt I had an axe to grind, and, the educational and experiential background to grind it. I have since learned that the human tide will ebb and flow of its own accord and that there is nothing anyone can do to speed it up or slow it down… so trying to put out a thoughtful essay theez daze has become quite a chore…
There have also been a number of catalysts that have contributed to my upcoming hiatus from prose (among them was a recent letter to my beloved Times where the author expressed their delight with the Republican presidential field — suggesting that each Republican candidate would make an excellent president of US). Madness still reigns outside-of-the-oasis-of- mindfulness I sought to cultivate.
These are other catalysts that have caused my prose to falter…
Jon Stewart
I really, really miss Jon. He lit a candle for me (and under me). I felt I was working alongside him — though not-so-much in the weeks that followed his resignation announcement. Who knows, perhaps Trevor Noah will spark that flame again?
Critical Mass
More-and-more I am hearing others saying exactly the same things I have been writing or thinking about. I can\’t think of anything to say that isn\’t already being said — from Bill Maher to David Icke to Letters to the Times. I wonder if I\’ve slowed down or everyone else has caught up or more people are swimming over to the deep end of the pool??? Whateveritis — I\’m no longer feeling vital to public discourse.
The Discovery of My Disease
I have recently been diagnosed with Anklosing Spondylitis. The fact that I\’ve had the symptoms for so long, and have only now learned what has been handicapping my mobility for so long — has let me know that I have to spend more time talking, and listening to, my body.
My Powers of Prediction are Failing Me
I once predicted a stock market crash. I also predicted the coming of Monica Lewinsky well before she came. But one of my former students recently reminded me that we\’re at least 2-years-past-due for the martial law I envisioned in 2007 that would be in place by 2012 for US. I hate being wrong…
My African American Student
A new African American student accused me of using the \”N\” word during my first sociology lecture of this semester. I don\’t believe I have ever uttered the \”N\” word in my life — but this student was convinced I had — even though she could produce no witnesses, nor could she provide a context to her belief. So now I spend additional energy monitoring myself during my lectures.
The Failure of Critical Thinking
I had hoped that 335 essays would have made me a more convincing conversationalist and more powerful debater, but I have learned that people can deny factual evidence, preferring a fairy story to explain history and social phenomena — this all-to-human dynamic has really taken the wind out my writing sails.
My Mother
My mother was upset that I talked about family issues and dynamics in one-of-the-essays that-a-friend-of-hers (who apparently reads me) shared with her. Though I\’ve done much worse things to my family during my family therapy training days (and I subsequently reasoned the content through with Mom) — this incident did give me pause…
So it\’s Hi diddle dee dee; it\’ll be poetry for me — unless my readers care to look-back-over-the-335 essays I will be revising and editing…